Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
