I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize