just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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