fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
