That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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