why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
