I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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