i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I touched a dick in church today
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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