Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize