One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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