no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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