going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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