420 ftw
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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