how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
