They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
