you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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