these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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