so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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