i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
