Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm at about main and main street
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
