Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize