We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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