I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
