The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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