she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
