Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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