Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize