genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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