i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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