You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
