You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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