Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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