i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
