Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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