Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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