A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
