Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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