I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
