new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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