Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
