she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
So. Much. Porn.
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