Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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