I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
