I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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