if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
