Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
