if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
