Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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