Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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