hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
