I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
