If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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