How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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