I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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