drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the liver wants what the liver wants
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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