The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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