i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis