I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream