Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...