Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.