You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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