I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
