White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
