Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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