I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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