I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
