"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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