he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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