I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
