I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
