This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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