just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
