It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
