Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Enjoy the penises
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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