Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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